Sarah's Studio

Solstice (n): object of desire

 

Success (n): the achievement of something desired

 

Performance (n): the execution of action

 

Freedom (n): lack of modesty or reserve

 

Lust (n): an overwhelming desire or craving

 

Thrill (vb): to cause a sudden wave of emotion

 

Passion (n): the object of strong desire or fondness

 

Spirited (adj): full of energy

 

Youth (n): possession of freshness and vitality

 

"Once in a while, we are stopped in our tracks by a captivating beauty...

...and we are never the same."

 

 

*Pontiac Solstice ad*

My Dancing Feet

 

My heart does weep

While my dancing feet

Abide by the ground they sweep

For I reach to the sky

Hoping to fly

But the ground brings me down to keep.

 

~Sarah Swanson, March 24, 2006

A moment is captured through the heart of a dancer where inspiration, passion, and strength are found. The true artist is revealed - one whose soul is a brilliant palette of creativity, elegance, and style telling a visual story though intricate movements and beautiful expressions. In their soulful eyes are real portrayals of dreams unfolding before an audience...taken. The presence, strength, and beauty of dancers set them apart from the rest.

Dance

Dance. And you’ll uninhibitedly release even the most infinitesimal iota of mercilessly trapped frustration; disdainfully entrapped in your bones. Dance. And you’ll metamorphose every droplet of your brutally estranged sweat; into a paradise of intriguingly unparalleled and triumphant newness. Dance. And you’ll feel like the most pricelessly blessed artist on this fathomless Universe; efficaciously expressing even the most obsoletely defecating of your emotions; like the blazingly unfettered Sunlight. Dance. And you’ll feel an unsurpassably overwhelming urge to lead a countless more lives; as if every of your inadvertently committed sin is forever erased into the wisps of worthlessly wanton nothingness. Dance. And you’ll feel the innermost dormitories of your soul profoundly blending with every ounce of the celestial atmosphere; galloping as God’s most endowed organism alive. Dance. And you’ll feel the inferno of unconquerable desire tower to the most ultimate crescendo in your crimson blood; with every pristinely untamed pore of your skin insatiably yearning to be timelessly kissed. Dance. And you’ll feel that the tantalizing mists of infinite infinity were invincibly captured in your magical palms; with every bone in your gallantly bountiful persona rhythmically swaying to the beats of the divine. Dance. And you’ll feel that there was no bath ever which was better than the bath of mesmerizing golden sweat; as it resplendently trickled like the most sensuously blessing waterfall over every patch of your fantastically glistening and naked skin. Dance. And you’ll feel that exhaustion never ever existed on the trajectory of this boundless earth; with even the most ethereal trace of disease forever transforming into the heaven of unprecedented excitement. Dance. And you’ll want every second to consist of a countless more seconds; every pathway of ebulliently rhapsodic life to be endlessly eternal till the time planet earth holistically survived. Dance. And you’ll feel that even the most deliriously robotic structure around you was silken fluffs of enamoring candy; inevitably culminating into a limitless forest of desire in every cranny of your impoverished caricature. Dance. And you’ll feel an inimitable fountain of heart-rendering empathy arise in the whites of your eyes; putting even the most disastrously frazzled dormitory of your brain to a perpetually glorifying rest. Dance. And you’ll learn to fly without wings even in the most fathomlessly unlimited of sky; indefatigably adventuring and proliferating into astounding newness; even as the entire earth around you brutally fought and died. Dance. And you’ll feel even the most treacherously obstinate of impediments beneath your feet convert into the oceans of unbridled prosperity; victoriously enveloping every of your nerve with undefeatable rhapsody. Dance. And you’ll feel like a freshly adorned bride; inexhaustibly tossing and turning on the bedsheets of Immortal friendship; waiting for the prince of her life to kiss her to an infinite billion lives. Dance. And you’ll feel as if you were the ultimate messiah of humanity; enlightening boundless orphans and deprived; with the miraculously subliming optimism in your vividly gleeful stride. Dance. And you’ll discover the most fragrantly invincible meaning of life; symbiotically coalesce every element of your majestic form with the insuperably panoramic cradle of Mother Nature. Dance. And you’ll feel as if your heart was the most pricelessly infallible creation on this gregariously impregnable Universe; with each of its Immortal beats forever bonding with the Omnipresent light of the Creator Divine. Dance. And you’ll feel as if the chapter of victoriously Omniscient life could never ever end; and with every joyously unhindered leap that you took into the atmosphere you were reborn again and again and again; for an infinite more lives and lifetimes… (c) (r) copyright-2004, by nikhil parekh. all rights reserved. Nikhil Parekh

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul; He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me; Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

You know when you give your love away

it opens your heart,

everything is new.

And you know time will always find a way

to let your heart believe it's true.

 

You know love is everything you say;

a whisper, a word,

promises you give.

You feel it in the heartbeat of the day.

You know this is the way love is.

 

Amarantine...

Amarantine...

Amarantine...

Love is.

Love is.

Love...

 

You know love may sometimes make you cry,

so let the tears go,

they will flow away,

for you know love will always let you fly

-how far a heart can fly away!

 

Amarantine...

Amarantine...

Amarantine...

Love is.

Love is.

Love...

 

You know when love's

shining in your eyes

it may be the stars

fallen from above.

And you know love

is with you when you rise,

for night and day belong to love.

How I remember sleepless nights

when we would read by candlelight,

and on the windowpane outside

a new world made of snow;

 

a million feathers falling down,

a million stars that touch the ground,

so many secrets to be found

amid the falling snow.

 

Maybe I am falling down.

Tell me should I touch the ground?

Maybe I won't make a sound

in the darkness all around.

 

The silence of a winter's night

brings memories I hold inside;

remembering a blue moonlight

upon the fallen snow.

 

Maybe I am falling down.

Tell me should I touch the ground?

Maybe I won't make a sound

in the darkness all around.

 

I close my window to the night.

I leave the sky her tears of white.

And all is lit by candlelight

amid the fallen snow.

 

And all is lit by candlelight

amid the fallen snow.

Every time

the rain comes down,

close my eyes and listen.

I can hear the lonesome sound

of the sky as it cries.

 

Listen to the rain

Here it comes again

Hear it in the rain

 

Feel the touch

of tears that fall

-they won't fall forever

In the way the day will flow

all things come,

all things go.

 

Listen to the rain

...the rain...

Here it comes again

...again...

Hear it in the rain

...the rain...

 

Late at night

I drift away -

I can hear you calling,

and my name

is in the rain,

leaves on trees whispering,

deep blue sea's mysteries.

 

Even when

this moment ends,

can't let go this feeling.

Everything

will come again

in the sound,

falling down,

of the sky as it cries.

Hear my name in the rain.

Her:

Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight.

I need help believing you're with me tonight.

My wildest dreamings could not forsee

Lying beside you with you wanting me.

 

Just for this moment, as long as you're mind

I've lost all resistance and crossed some border line

And if it turns out it's over too fast

I'll make every last moment last.

As long as you're mine.

 

Him:

Maybe I'm brainless, maybe unwise

But you've got me seeing through different eyes.

Somehow I've fallen under your spell

And somehow I'm feeling it's up that I fell.

 

Both:

Every moment, as long as you're mine

I'll wake up my body and make up for lost time

Just for this moment, as long as you're mine

Come be how you want to and see how bright we shine

Borrow the moonlight until it is through

And know I'll be here holding you

As long as you're mine.

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation.

Darkness stirs, and wakes imagination.

Silently the senses abandon their defenses.

 

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor.

Grasp it, sense it, trembulous and tender.

Turn your face away from the garish light of day.

Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light,

And listen to the music of the night.

 

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams.

Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before.

Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar,

And you'll live as you've never lived before.

 

Softly, deftly, music shall caress you.

Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you.

Open up your mind. Let your fantasies unwind.

In this darkness that you know you cannot fight.

The darkness of the music of the night.

 

Let your mind start to journey through a strange new world.

Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before.

Let your soul take you where you long to be.

Only then can you belong to me.

 

Floating, falling, sweet intoxication.

Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation.

Let the dream begin. Let your darker side give in.

To the power of the music that I write.

The power of the music of the night.

 

You alone can make my song take flight.

Help me make the music of the night.

Knowing that I love you,
But can never have you
Burns my heart like an open fire.

As I lay on the grass on a summers night,
Gazing at the stars so very bright
All my hopes and dreams break.

You're the only one I see,
In this future so uncertain
But in the end, let fate take us to what's desired

May this mend my broken heart?
Or just leave me in the dark?
Confused, lost and angry.

What do you really mean to me?
If you hurt me so bad
Why don't I leave?

This slow attraction, which grew in to love
Now is broken
Now my mind and heart are hazy

And I don't know what to do,
All I know is that I'm broken hearted and confused

by Jordann G.

 

If you were coming in the fall,

I'd brush the summer by

With half a smile and half a spurn,

As housewives do a fly.

 

If I could see you in a year,

I'd wind the month in ball,

And put them each in separate drawers,

Until their time befalls.

 

If only centuries delayed,

I'd count them on my hand,

Subtracting till my fingers dropped

Into Van Diemen's land.

 

If certain, when this life was out,

That yours and mine should be,

I'd toss it yonder like a rind,

And taste eternity.

 

But now, all ignorant of the length

Of time's uncertain wing,

It goads me, like the goblin bee,

That will not state its sting.

You've left me now,

And it's seasoned my soul,

And with every step you take,
I watch another part of you go...

I continue to build a wall...
You were so strong,
I fell to my knees...
And I don't think I can handle this at all...

One more night
I'd like to lie and hold you
Yes and feel...
To make you smile,
I'd like to be there for you--
Have you forgotten me?

And the days go by
Doing nothing about them...
How much time
will I have to spend?

My mind won't rest
and I don't sleep
Not even in my dreams...

If you ever did believe,
for my sake...
If you ever did believe....

And the days go by
Doing nothing about them...
How much time
will I have to spend?

ooo....ooo.....ooo...
Ooo baby don't leave me
ooo..ooo...ooo...ooo
I'm down on my knees...
ooo..ooo...ooo...ooo
begging you please...
ooo...ooo...ooo...ooo
baby don't leave me....
Did you ever believe?

I tried to order more time today, but it's on back order for an indefinite period of time. How sucky is that?!

Today was the  first day in about a week that I did not dance once. Therefore it was wasted. "Let the day be wasted in which we did not dance once." Don't remember who said that, but it's so true. Dance team try-outs were last night and I made it. I was surprised to find out that I wasn't sore today. My back is a little ticked off at me and my hammies are a little tight, but other than that, I feel pretty good. Ballet class last night went exceptionally well, too. Our original instructor is in Fiji/New Zealand for the winter so we had the main instructor: the owner of both the studios (waverly and cedar falls). She was more strict about technique and really pushed us. It was fantastic! I actually broke out in a sweat half way through. I loved it! I love being pushed like that.....when it comes to dance anyway. : ) I want become as good as I possibly can with dance. It's my passion. "You know you're dancing when tears of pain and happiness blend in with your sweat."

 

Tomorrow (Wednesday): music history test, conducting, pack and load car, pick up Nutcracker pictures, head home for Thanksgiving Break! Have a good one y'all. : )

Danced again today, but not Nutcracker. This was for my Kinetic Energy ballet class. Dress rehearsal was a blunder, but that's what it's for. The actual performance went really well. Now I have a $50 dress that I'll never wear again. Amy suggested that we burn them, which would be fun, but they cost a lot of money. Plus, you never know when hideous, revealing dress will come in handy.

After that, I went to Melanie's piano recital, but I had to leave at intermission for certain reasons. What I heard though was excellent. Hesper and I went to Pizza Hut for supper, which was nice 'cuz we got to talk and have fun without distractions. Right now, I should be doing homework, but I'm perfecting my procrastination skills. That seems to be my number one priority at the moment. Tomorrow it's back to more dancing though. Ballet class for an hour and dance team try-outs for who knows how long. Wish me luck! (not nervous about making the team; nervous about not having enough time to get things accomplished)

Well, it's over. Last night was the last performance (out of four total in two days). They all went really well, but Saturday night was the best, which was nice because my family was there along with Hesper, my roommate. It would give me great pleasure to tell you all about it, but I think that's only possible to do in person, vocally. There's simply so much to tell. I think I'm going to journal every moment so I don't forget. It was the experience of a lifetime and I want to remember it, moment for moment. I hope that I'll be able to dance with another professional company again someday, but I just don't know. If the Minnesota Ballet Company came back here to do Nutcracker again, it wouldn't be for another two years. Well, I'm graduated by then and far to old. This time around, the oldest auditioning (besides me) were seniors in high school. The youngest, probably four. But it was so much fun and the experience really helped to lift my spirits in a time of trial. I got to meet new people and make new friends. There were two girls in particular, sophomores in high school, that I bummed around with the most. They made sure I gave them my email and vice versa. Said that if I didn't do Nutcracker again in two years that I should come and see them. I told them I would because I love them. They're great girls. Well, I'd better get scootin'. Dancing is not over for this weekend. My Kinetic Energy ballet class is dancing for the Festival of Tress as well (that's what the Nutcracker for for, too). Then tomorrow night I have dance team try-outs for basketball season. So needless to say I'm going to be danced out for a while......nah! I don't think that could ever happen. I told someone the other day, in reference to this weekend, that if there was one thing I could pick to be bogged down with, it would be dance. I simply can't get enough dance and it would be very doable for me. So, I'm going to go finish getting ready to dance....again. I'll talk to ya'll later. Sarah

Tonight was the dress rehearsal for the Nutcracker. From years past, so I'm told, dress rehearsal runs about six hours. Tonight it ran for about four hours. The Artistic Director of the Minnesota Ballet Company was so pleased, he said that in ten years, this was the best dress rehearsal. If you don't remember, I'm one of the rats. Let me tell you, our costumes are hot! Literally! You can't see our faces cuz we're wearing this horse-like halter thing over our head with ears and a big pointy nose and a hood with eyes that are on our forehead. Looks kind of silly up close because you can see our own eyes underneathe the mouse ones, but from an audience's point of view it looks really good. We also have a long tail, a belly (yes that's right, a belly) and long squiggly fingers that flop around a lot. It's very attractive, lemme tell ya. Anywho...

 

Other than that, nothing really fantastic has been happening in my life. Actually, it's been pretty horrible, but I won't get into details for your sake...that is if anyone even reads this. Anyway, let's just say that I want to quit and run away. Far far away.  As far away from this hell on earth as possible. But like I said, I won't go into detail because that would be boring and no one really cares anyway. No one reads this. I could be screaming out my problems in the middle of a crowded room and I don't even think anyone would take notice. Anywho... I'm gonna head towards bed. Everybody, stay safe and stay sweet. God bless!

As I mentioned before, I will be in the Nutcracker with the Minnesota Ballet Company. There will be three shperformances. One on November 18th and two on November 19th. I've heard from one source that tickets are sold out. I've heard from another that there still some left. So call Gallagher at 319-273-7469 for more information on tickets. We've been having rehearsals every Saturday. Those are going well. Still haven't seen our costumes, but we know what they look like. The company will bring those with them when they get here the day before the show (which would be Nov 17). It should be sweet! It's the opportunity of a lifetime. You should check it out.

It's been a while since I've updated this. That's because my computer has been down and my roommates computer doesn't have an updated version of msn messenger. Just haven't wanted to deal with it I guess. I'll probably end up just taking my computer home over fall break to get it fixed and then pick it up over Thanksgiving break.

 

Scotty Riggs has a recital today. I can't wait. I'm so proud of him. He's the love of my life and I am so thankful. I am who I am because of him. He is every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life.

 

Anywho...I'd better get some school related things done. I don't even know where to begin. AHHH!!! So much to do. hehe

Stay sweet everyone and God bless.

 

"Our souls are one, if you must know

and never shall they be apart;

With splendid dawn, your face aglow

I reach for you and find my heart."

     Classes are going well, life is good, my recital music is coming along, and my dance career is at an all time high.  For those of you who don't know about my current status as a dancer, I will fill you in.  I'm still taking ballet class once a week.  This November, the Minnesota Ballet will be in Cedar Falls to perform The Nutcracker.  They only have a handful of members and the Nutcracker takes a lot of people to pull off. So...they held auditions this past Saturday.  I went and gave it my best shot...well, I think I could have been a little tighter in all my moves, but I was happy with myself for having the guts to even try.  But I got in! I'm a rat!  You might be thinking right now, "Well that's not exciting!  Who wants to be a rat? That's dumb!" Well, I would have to disagree.  First of all, I get to perform with a professional ballet company (three performances)! I mean, it doesn't really get any better than that.  Heck, I'll dress up as a painting and you can hang me on one of the walls on stage. I mean, I feel blessed to have made it at all. I'm way excited!  We have rehearsals every Saturday until the performances.  Speaking of which, they are Nov 18 at 7:30pm and Nov 19 at 2pm and 8pm.  The performances will be held in the Great Hall at Gallagher Bluedorn.  Tickets are going fast!  However, because of this ballet deal, I can't do dance team this semester.  See, all the football games are on Saturdays, and I have Nutcracker rehearsals at the same time as the games.  But it's totally worth it and now I'm actually glad we have dance team auditions at the beginning of winter term.  That way I'll still able to do this year.  Plus, basketball season dance team does the co-ed dance and that's the most fun of all. ; )  So needless to say, I'm really pleased with the way my dance career is going right now.  I feel very blessed.

 

     Classes are going well for me.  If find Music History II (with Dr. Rueter) to be very interesting.  I'm in a 5-12 Choral/Instrumental methods class. It's with Professor Reed and I'm really liking it so far.  I got my band score music in the mail today (some of it) and I'm way excited.  I have to analyze it, but I still like the idea that I've finally started my band music library. Yay!  I'm also enrolled in my LAST instrumental methods class (trumpet/horn).  Voice class with Dr. Kim is going well.  She's a really sweet lady and I've always wanted to learn the proper technique of singing.  I'm also in Conducting with Dr. Wade and I think I'm doing really well.  For some reason, it comes reasonably easy to me.  I feel very comfortable up on the podium.  I mean, I get a little nervous, but I'm happy with how I'm doing.  Yes, I have a LOT to learn yet, but I've been looking forward to conducting class ever since I started here.  It's way fun!  I'm also not working in the caf anymore. YAY!!! I'm working in the music therapy lab now. I like it there. It's peaceful and it's pretty much a paid study hall. I just save most of my book work for when I have to work in there and in turn, I actually get it all done.

 

Well, I think I'm gonna try and get something done.....yeah right!  There's no way I'll be able to concentrate on anything worth while right now.  I think I'm getting sick and I'm really tired all of a sudden.  Not to mention it's Friday!  Tomorrow I have Nutcracker rehearsal for two hours. Then I'll probably have to do homework.  So Chao for now!